Whether you are planning to adopt a child or give your child to adoption, you would have heard stories about failed adoptions and you are probably wondering what caused it.
There are many different reasons why adoption fails, and the truth is that when adoption fails, it can be too devastating to everyone involved.
In this post, I want to show you some of the reasons we have failed adoptions and what you can do to make sure you have a successful adoption.
The question is, What is a failed adoption? A failed adoption is an adoption process that started well but fortunately wasn’t completed for one reason or the other.
This is the worst adoption experience any adoptive family wants to face during adoption because it is always disheartening and it is one of the main reasons people avoid adoption.
The worst of it all is that failed adoption statistics show that six to eleven percent of adoptions ( 6 to 11%) are disrupted before they are finalized.
There are a thousand and one reasons why adoption can fail, but one of the most described reasons is when the birth family all of sudden decided to parent their child.
Other reasons why adoption can fail, but it is always important to let you know that you can’t kill yourself or feel disappointed when your adoption plans fail, the best step to take is to adoption lawyer to find out your next option.
15 Cogent Reasons Why Adoption Fails.
1) When There Is Failed Match:-
This is one of the biggest reasons for failed adoptions and frankly speaking, every prospective adoptive parent is afraid of it more than any other adoption setbacks.
The failed match happens when the birth mother of the family makes a turn after the adoption process has gone almost to an end and decides to raise their kids themselves.
In some cases, the adoptive family would have received a phone call about being selected by the birth mother and suddenly gets a return call of a decision by the birth family to nullify the adoption the next minute.
This can be emotionally draining and can devastating. In some states like Florida, no birth mother can sign an adoption consent or even terminate her parental right until the child is born.
The birth mom can even make adoption plans while she is still expecting a baby and most time accepts living expenses from the adoptive family, but that wouldn’t stop her from changing her mind about giving her child up for adoption.
You can’t blame the birth mom for changing her mind because they are the one who faces the worst nightmare after giving up their child for adoption. Below are a few reasons why they can change their mind.
Why Expectant Mothers Can Change Their Minds About Adoption:-
When the child’s father decides to help:-
Many expectant mothers may decide to place their child for adoption because the child’s father either rejected the baby or refused to be active in raising the child.
Maybe while the birth mom is on the verge of giving up the baby for adoption, the father decides to support her to raise the baby.
This can be a repose to the birth mother and all of a sudden the expectant mother becomes strong again to raise her child.
The situation will affect the adoption greatly, but you can’t blame the birth family for their decision, after all, while it is a disappointment to you, it is a pivotal blessing.
When There Is A New Resource Available To Her:-
A birth mom can also change her mind when things become better for her. The means of raising her child may come to her at any time and make her change her mind.
- There may be new and good-paying jobs.
- Financial improvement.
- She gets federal government empowerment or grants.
- She gets a better house to live in.
All these can give her the confidence of taking care of her child and that will mean a big disappointment to the prospective adoptive family.
A Family Member Decides To Adopt The Baby:-
In most cases, some expectant moms will prefer to give their child to a family member who they already know than an outsider.
As long as the family member has done the home study and other adoption screening, she will prefer to go with that, because she won’t suffer the pain of losing her child to a total stranger. To her, this is more open than an open adoption.
Meanwhile, placing a child with a family member has its disadvantages too, so you have to be positive as you go with that.
If The Father Of The Baby Decides To Help The Mother Raise The Child:-
The expectant mother will also change her mind about adoption if the baby’s father shows up and decides to support the child’s mom.
The birth mom may have decided to give her child up for adoption because the father of the child was not known or is not ready to be active in the child’s life.
If the father makes a turn and pledges support to the mother, it can cause a change of mind.
Fear Of Future Regrets:-
There’s no pain like losing your child forever after adoption. Most birth mothers are afraid of that. That is the greatest reason an adoption fails.
Any woman who places her child up for adoption is already losing the experience of being a mother. The fear of losing that motherhood experience is another thing that makes a mother change her mind about adoption.
Reasons For Failed Adoption Number Two: When Adoption Is Disrupted:-
Adoption can be disrupted when adoptive parents suddenly withdraw their interest in adopting a child. This is usually common with older children who are adopted from foster care.
One of the reasons why adoptive parents can change their minds when the adoption is almost completed could be because raising the child in question may be too expensive for them.
This usually happens after the child has been placed. Probably, the adoptive family after seeing the child discovers that they are not ready to raise the child, because of his or her severe mental or physical issues.
Another arrangement will be made to place the child into another family if the adoption is disrupted.
Though the adoptive parent disrupts or dissolves the adoption, they still feel emotionally bad about it. This is so because every adoptive parent wants to succeed in their adoption. And they want to be the loving parent to the child they want to adopt.
So whether the adoption fails or is disrupted, the pain of losing an adoption hurts the same.
Reasons For Failed Adoption Three: When Adoption Is Contested:-
Adoption can also fail when it is contested. You will say that adoption is contested when one of the child’s parents (probably the father) objects to the adoption.
The birth mother in most cases won’t want the assumed father of the child to know about her plans to place the child for adoption.
Contested adoption is not the same as disrupted adoption, where the family changed their mind suddenly.
Often contested adoption happens when the adoptee has already been placed with the adoptive family. After that, the father of the child or any other member of the family may come out to contest the adoption before it is legally completed.
If the child’s father refuses to relinquish his parental rights, the adoption can not hold again; the next thing to do is to go to court for a contested adoption hearing.
The judge handling the contested adoption will always make the final decision in the child’s best interests.
Common Reasons Why Contested Adoption Happens:-
There are a few main reasons why contested adoption happens. Find them below.
- The Child’s Father Is Unaware:- As I earlier said, birth moms, normally don’t like to involve the child’s father in the adoption. Probably she assumed the father won’t be active in anything concerning the child. But, the child’s father may not want to give his consent again when he eventually finds out. He may also refuse to rescind his father’s rights because of that.
- The Noncustodial Refuses:– Other times, it may be the noncustodial parents, who refuse to rescind their parental rights to the stepmother to adopt the child.
Contested Adoption Hearing:-
All the parties involved in the contested adoption are expected to be present in court during the hearing.
The case will be reviewed by a judge. Everybody is expected to bring their arguments and evidence before the judge to review before the judgment is passed.
If the child’s father proves to the judge his capabilities and willingness to be the child’s legal parent, then you will lose the contest. If he fails, then you will be given the child.
There are three outcomes you’ll expect to have during the hearing:-
– The adoption process continues if the contesting parent fails to prove himself right.
– The adoption process stops when he is awarded parental rights.
– The judge passes his judgment based on the child’s best interests and both you and the contesting parent find an alternative.
Reasons For Failed Adoption Number Four:- It Was Dissolved:-
Another type of failed adoption is when the adoption is dissolved. Adoption is said to be dissolved it has been finalized.
This type of failed adoption occurs once in a while, and in most places, it occurs only rear cases and especially when the child’s special needs are not properly taken care of by the adoptive parents.
This happens when the adoptive families are not capable of taking care of the child due to financial stress, or they are not able to foot the high cost of taking care of the child’s needs or even lack information.
The court will first of all severe the relationship that exists between the child and the new parents when they find out about the adoptive parent’s capability to take care of the child.
After that, the child will be returned to the foster care home or he/ she will be placed with another adoptive parent.
Failed adoption can be prevented in so many ways including training the adoptive parents and making them eagerly accept the adoption of a child with certain levels of needs.
The adopting parents must be made to understand what adoption can require of them and the changes it will bring into their lives.
Thanks for reading
I am still your in-house adoption counselor Murphyaik.
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