If you are planning to adopt a child into your family, you would have come across the terms open vs closed adoption. And you are probably confused about what it means and the differences between them
In this post, I will show you what the term open Vs close adoption means, and you will also learn which of them is good for you.
The question is what are the differences between open vs close adoption?
Let’s dive in immediately.
Open vs closed adoption
What is Open Adoption?
open adoption is the type of adoption where the potential adoptive parents know the child’s birth parents. These two families exchange their personal information and largely relate with each other during and after the adoption.
In an open adoption today, a birth parent has the power to choose adoptive parents for her unborn kid. Not only does she have the power to select the parents, but she also has the prerogative to decide the region or town the baby will be adopted into.
Open adoption is relatively the most common type of adoption now because the birth parents are being protected from the agony of not seeing their child for the rest of their lives.
Before we compare the differences between open adoption and closed adoption, let’ understand what closed adoption definition is too.
What is Closed Adoption?
Closed adoption is just the opposite of open adoption. In this type of adoption, the birth family and the adoptive family do not share any contact at all. The relationship starts and ends after the adoption process is completed.
Read the who article about closed adoption here
Open vs closed adoption:
In this section, we will look at the differences between open adoption and closed adoption. Pay close attention now. You will be able to make a favorable decision about the type of adoption to go through.
As we look at the open vs closed adoption here I want to make it easy for you to understand, so I will explain them one after the other.
Open Adoption importance to the birth mother:-
- The mother can choose the adoptive parents:- Open adoption is an interesting type of adoption for most birth parents because they have the power to choose who adopts their child. The biological mother through an adoption agency selects who adopts their child as well the region or country the child will be adopted to. This in return gives the birth mother peace of mind, because they know how the child is doing as he/she is growing up.
- The birth mother can see the baby growing:- Because the birth mother knows the adoptive parents, she can know and advise the adoptive family how to take proper care of her child. Many birth parent has expressed how happy they feel when they receive pictures, calls, letters, and some updates on how their child is doing. At least the birth mother will Know how their child is doing as he/she continues to grow.
- The birth family still has the chance to answer their child’s question:- Open adoption still gives the birth mother the power to answer the adoptee’s questions as they grow. As the baby grows, he/she may have some questions about why the mum gave them up for adoption or about her adoption stories: because of the nature of this adoption, the question can be answered.
- Great medical information:- In an open adoption, the adoptive parents you choose will be able to get the child’s health history from you faster. This will help them take quick decisions when any health issues arise.
Open vs Closed Adoption
Disadvantages Of Open Adoption To The Birth Family.
- No privacy at all:– Open adoption is somehow not conducive to those birth mothers who want to keep their unwanted pregnancy secret. In an open adoption, the adoptive family and the birth family shares so many contacts and keep a relationship after the adoption, therefore if you don’t feel safe with that, you can choose a closed adoption.
- Birth parents can feel constrained to keep in touch:- Most times, when the birth mother who willingly chose open adoption will decide to discontinue the contacts. At this point, the birth family mother will feel Pressured to continue because she doesn’t want the adoptive family to feel bad. That’s why you should think very well before you decide on an adoption type to follow.
- There is little or no closure:- After adoption, some birth mothers need some closures, but this is impossible in open adoption. It is there important for you to choose close adoption if you want closure.
- “Feelings of obligation.” The child’s mother of a side starts feeling obligated to place her child up for adoption because the adoptive parent has given some emotional and financial supports to Her.
- Trust can be abused along the way:- The relationship between two people who are not related is not always easy. Haven’t Said that, the relationship between the birth family and the adoptive parents may bring some abuses of truth in the future. The adoptive may do something that will kill the trust both of you share.
Open vs Closed Adoption
Benefits of open adoption to the Adoptive Parents.
- You will know more about the child’s parents:- As an adoptive parent, having a relationship with the birth mother means you can get all the necessary information such as the parent’s character, medical history, and other information. According to the study, all adoptive families who can have such information feel more prepared to adopt than those who don’t.
- Your fears are reduced:- Due to the relationship that exists between you, the birth mother and, the rest of the families before and after the adoption, your mind will be at peace as you go through the adoption process, because at least you know every intention of the birth family.
- You have a relationship with the child’s family:- You have the opportunity to develop an ongoing relationship with the child’s family. Open adoption presents you with the opportunity to be part of your extended family.
The disadvantages of open adoption to the adoptive parent:
- The birth parents can their mind:- There is a tendency that the birth can change their mind from giving you their child when you fail to meet their requirements during the home study.
- More pressure:- There are times when the birth family will require more openness than you want and they will not be happy if you reject their demand. On the other hand, you may not want that level of Openness, but because you are afraid not to get the baby you wanted, you may give in. That’s additional pressure for you.
- “Aditional support.” Now that you have more family added to your family through the adoptee, you may be required some time to provide adoptee emotional assistance to the extended family even when you are not ready for that.
Open vs Closed Adoption:
Advantages Of Open Adoption To The Adoptee.
- The child may find it had to sync with the new family: Due to the interaction between the adoptee and their family, it will be a little bit hard for the adoptee to assimilate the new family. If it were here closed adoption where the child doesn’t know the birth family, he/she will be fast to assimilate the new family like their family.
- Confusion with the identity of two families:- As the adoptee matures in age, he/she will find it difficult to tell the full history of the two families he/she belongs to.
- Rejection:- The adoptee may feel rejected at some point when the relationship between the birth parents and the adoptive parents ceases.
- Inability to describe the two families to his /her peers:- It will be hard for the child to describe how he/she came to have two families to his/her friend.
Open Vs Closed Adoption:
The Pros And Cons Of Closed adoption For The Birth Mother And Adoptee-
- It Means Closure For the birth family:- closed adoption will help you overcome the stress and emotional difficulty in adoption. Most birth parents feel bad sometimes to let someone else adopt their child and may stop along the way. However, closed adoption prevents that from happening at all.
- Privacy for the birth mother:- Closed adoption is very good for those birth mothers who don’t want people to know of their unwanted pregnancy. The birth mother won’t have any disturbance whatsoever after the adoption is over.
- Fear is reduced:- Birth mothers would not be afraid about how to tell their pregnancy story to their friends and family. Closed adoption makes it easy for the birth mother to hide the pregnancy, and give the child up for adoption and forget everything about it forever.
- Easy For the adoptive child to assimilate the new family:-Unlike in the open adoption where the birth mother and adoptee relate after the adoption, it will be easy for the child to understand the new home and assimilate with every member Of the family first.
- Fully protected: With the closed adoption, the birth child is fully protected from emotionally depressed members of the family.
Cons of Closed Adoption To The Birth Mother And Adoptee.
- The birth mother will live with regret forever: As time goes on the birth mother will wish she never given her child up for adoption.
- Guity of abandonment: Many birth family has complained of feeling guilty for abandoning their child and they regret it eternally.
- Dealing with lack of information:- The birth mother will always regret herself for not having information about the baby, couple with the quilt of abandoning the baby. All these can cause depression.
Open vs Closed Adoption:-
Pros And Cons Of Closed Adoption For Adoptive Parent.
- Freedom:- You have your adopted child all to yourself and no birth family will disturb you. Because of that, you can train your adopted child the way you want. You’ll enjoy your Family time with your whole family the way you want.
- You have your boundaries intact:- In an open adoption, the birth mother has the right to cross your boundaries to assist in raising their children. There are no such fuzzy boundaries in a closed adoption.
Cons of Closed Adoption.
Unable to find the birth mother that is interested in a closed adoption:- Many birth families don’t want to live with the agonies of not seeing their child for the rest of their lives, for that reason, it may not be easy for you to find any birth mother that is interesting in a closed adoption.
I hope you understood what open vs closed adoption stands for as you read this post. I also know that you can decide what type of adoption to choose after reading this post.
I wish you the best as you begin your adoption journey. Congratulations, and see you at the top.
I am still you’re in house adop adviser,