In my last post, I wrote about what open adoption is and its importance to you. Today I want to talk about the closed adoption definition and everything you need to know about this type of adoption.
It is imperative you know the types of adoption available and then chooses which of them to follow. It will save you time, and it will help you to plan on how to begin and end your journey.
The proper knowledge of the closed adoption definition almost means a successful adoption, and that’s what I want to help you achieve here. Below are few areas we will be looking at in this post.
- Closed adoption definition.
- The closed adoption facts.
- How to find a birth mother in a closed adoption.
- How closed adoption works for the birth mother.
- Benefits of closed adoption.
Let’s dive in:
Closed adoption definition:
Closed adoption is the type of adoption where the birth family shares no contact at all or shares a little contact. Unlike in the open adoption where both the adoptive parents and the birth family meet and exchange contacts and Ideas, the closed adopt gives you no room to disclose any vital contact information to no each other during and after the adoption.
That means that all the identifying information like the last name, other vital contact information remains confidential and not Share between you and the birth parent.
The truth is that closed adoption has been the choice of both the adoptive families and the birth family since the inception of adoption. This is because it helps to eliminate some stresses that would have resulted in the future.
For example, the single birth mother, and those who battle with unwanted pregnancy are somewhat protected from the social stigma that would have arisen from friends and family members.
The best part of closed adoption is that some women who don’t want their friends and community know about their unwarranted pregnancy will just travel to an undisclosed location and have their children and then come back after birth and have a doctor or just an adoption official place her child for adoption. She will not even be around for the adoption process.
On the other hand, the adoptive parents are also protected from the dilemma of being controlled by the birth parents on how to take care of their children to give them a better life.
Here are some closed adoption facts you should note.
Because of the shrewdness and secrecy of closed adoption, many birth parents continue to live in the agony of not knowing the whereabouts of their children for the rest of their lives.
The birth mother has lost contact with their children forever and all they live on is how and where can their child be at the moment? Are they alive or dead?
The thought of losing their children forever to someone else is the reason why people choose to go through open adoption, which gives them the power to still maintain contact with their children, even though they are adopted.
However, many birth mums still prefer close adoption to open adoption especially when they are afraid to be cajoled by their society for having unwanted baby.
I hope you grasp some points from the open adoption definition? Congratulations! Now let’s go to the next important topic.
How To Find A Birth Mother In An Closed Adoption.
If you are still looking to find a birth mother in an open adoption, there are just a few ways you can do that, but you have to consider these too ways thoroughly before choosing the best for you.
One of the ways to do that is to advertise for a birth mother that wants to give her baby for adoption. Yes, it is possible to sidetrack an agency to adopt a baby. This could be cheap for you, but it can also be risky as well.
After the advert, you will plan to receive some phone calls, exchange some Identity contacts due to the adverts you placed earlier. And then the birth mother contacts you.
At this point, you should be careful with the remaining process because no adoption expert is working with you. Understand that it won’t be that easy for you to deal with the birth mother successfully without an agency, you could end up being badly disappointed.
So, dear, stop and consider what you may experience as you take the steps without an agency. If you still want to continue, then go ahead. I wish you luck.
The other way to go is-
To find a closed adoption Agency. This is the best option for you as it makes things easy for you. I also wish to inform you here that there are not many professionals that organize close adoption these days.
But if you seriously which to go through a closed adoption, some agencies understand that some birth parents still need some confidentiality and privacy after their child’s placement.
Working with such agencies will allow locating such birth mothers easily and faster too. Your next step should be to find the closed adoption agencies to work with.
How To Find A Good Adoption Agency.
Conduct a Research:-
One of the steps to find a good closed adoption agency to work with is research and your number one point of call should be online. You will be able to locate different agencies online to help you. However, there is a need to be diligent in your search to find the best that have your need in mind.
When you find anyone that is your choice, call them and schedule an appointment with them. This initial appointment is to understand how they intend to help you. It is important to call as many as possible before selecting which of them to help you.
Before you set out to see the chosen adoption agency, you must prepare yourself thoroughly knowing that you will be asked some questions. Some of the questions you will be ready to answer are about you-
Although you may not be happy disclosing most of this information, have in mind that is part of the adoption process. You will not make mistakes if you are prepared for these questions. So start preparing now.
Get Your Questions Ready Too:-
As you are preparing to answer some questions from your selected adoption agency, get your questions ready too. It will be best to write every question down on a jotter, so you don’t forget.
You can ask any of these questions below-
How would they help you find the birth mother?
How long will it likely take to be matched?
What are the eligibility requirements for the adoptive parents?
Ask about the home study. What would it look like?
The dues, what is it like?
Request for a reference of their past work to another adoptive parent. Was it successful?
If you chose International adoption, ask them about the countries they have worked in before and where they know their adoption laws better.
Asking these questions will help you understand how well the agency will help you succeed in your adoption journey, and to have a good adoption story at last
Take Your Time To Investigate:-
You’ve got to take your time to investigate which agency to use. Remember if you make mistakes, you will have yourself to blame. This is your future so be careful.
If you have come this far, you are almost ready for close adoption. I said this because I have described so many things to aid you to go through your closed adoption successfully. At least you have learned – about the closed adoption definition, how to find the closed adoption agency, etc. Let’s pros and cons of closed adoption
Pros And Cons Of Closed Adoption:
This is the part you are waiting for, and you must understand this well. Here, you will see all you can gain or lose as you choose closed adoption or whatever type of adoption you choose.
Here they are:
- You have your privacy:- Closed adoption will give you the privacy you desire. Immediately after adoption, you won’t have any contact with the birth mother again and so the birth mother, birth child, and you will never call, text, or visit each other again.
- Most birth parents don’t feel relaxed when they give their child up for adoption and that will make them intrude on your privacy in the quest to know if their child is the safe hand or not. Closed adoption prevents this from happening.
- Closed adoption will help you protect your child from being exposed to a toxic environment.
- It helps birth mothers who want to keep their birth secret achieve their aims.
Cons of Closed Adoption:
- The birth mother will forever live with the agony of not knowing where the child is and how he/she is doing.
- Many adoptive don’t choose a closed adoption these days, so your chances of finding a mother who wants closed adoption are limited.
- Most agencies don’t accept closed adoption and if you choose a private adoption method, you can fall victim to adoption fraud.
- As the adoptee grows, he will struggle with the issues of self-esteem and identity.
My Final Words To You:
Now that you know the close adoption definition, how to find the closed adoption agency, how to find a birth mother in a closed adoption, the pros, and cons of closed adoption; I believe you are fully equipped for this closed adoption journey.
Your next step is to start your journey now. Start searching for the birth mother online using the systems I show you if you want to do that alone. But if you want to go through an adoption agency, then you will also see my description of how to find a good agency too.
Remember to be diligent as you search for adoption agencies to help you and get yourself fully ready for this task ahead.
I wish you a smooth adoption journey.
See you at the top.
I am your in-house adoption adviser.